..

The night was still dark. And, it felt I would never feel the essence of sunrise.
The memories still giving the chasm between the two worlds.
I could not really sleep well. In the midst of night, rather morning I would say I woke up and took an exit from my room.
Perhaps, fresh air was required despite of the silence in my room.
I moved slowly without making much noise. Even the steps felt heavy not just the heart.

Wondering, why does days like these pop up, although everything seems moving smoothly, I am still suffering. "Restless"- finally, I found the word to define exactly how I felt !!
I was restless. Something was, perhaps, wrong at Cloud 9!!
I could not feel the peace I used to be cuddled with.
I could not feel the happiness which often surrounded me.
No!! Loneliness alone can't be the root cause. It has got to be something else that is killing me inside out.

The night sky was not so dark now. I just took a slow walk on my terrace. Walking is, I suppose, an answer to all unanswered questions. They never get solved but the burden is often reduced.
You tend to feel better. Probably, walking can only second sleep in providing relief and of course with people like me : Walking rocks!!

I have often noticed that some days turn out to do more damage than others.
Some people turn out more dangerous than others. And, often people close to your heart
hurt you harder than your enemies. And, some days all this crap is not easy to believe but actually true.

Some days, we try to connect the dots but can't. And, the days like this is when this entire life becomes  a hard question to answer.
The series of "WHY" have no answers at time.

I still, don't have too many answers. I am just hoping someday I will actually know- WHY things turned out the way they are.
Was that destined to happen that way or Was it the outcome of some decisions or merely a combination of both- I really don't know much.

Hope!! someday I will re-blog stating how did the dots actually connect!!
Amen!!

SomeDay !!

For some reason, we all are born.
And, it has taken me years to figure it out. Probably, I am still trying to figure out what it really is!!
A few decades back when life was still about getting into Junior High as they used to call the  10th standard in some shows- whose name I can't recall right now.

My life that time was surrounded by my first school which I loved, my comic book section, my pretty garden which is still a fond memory, the late night badminton games, the hide and seek hours and perhaps so many others.
I still recall those cramming of history lectures in my Balcony, and the most stupendous of all - looking at the night sky for hours and hours.

Life is changing each day I would say. But, somethings don't really change. I still crave for that night sky.
Sometimes, just trying to figure out the new constellations up in there which have mesmerized me more than anything in this world.

So, we grow up. Yes, we all do.
Dreaming about getting the best this life has to offer. But, when we get it-Did we really want it or something more.
What I have learnt is - we always ask for more:School-->College-->Job-->New Job-->Satisfying Job-->Highly Paid Job-->Family and probably it goes on.

And, sometimes we put at stake the most important thing we have--Ourselves.
Sounds heavy, but I feel I have changed.

I hope some day things will find their way.

Some day, everything will be in order.

And, when it does: I must have done something right.